Community Behaviour Update

Going to go ahead and make this post, just to be the devils advocate here as the announcement seems to be very one sided.

Lets also not forget that you do not just out right deserve respect in anyway just by having a role/position anywhere in this world...

Yes, we should all start off with the respect that any decent human being should have, but you earn anything more than that and regardless of your position/role you are liable to losing any respect you started off with and if you do so then may end up in a position where you deserve no respect!

You give the respect you would like to receive, if you give fuck all then don't be surprised if you get fuck all back.

Volunteer or not, if someone volunteers to go feed the homeless and then proceeds to patronise them and speak down to them whilst handing them free food, they are still an absolute cunt!

Just being a staff member in a community like FK doesn't mean you are above anyone else here and if you don't deal with community members in a respectful way then you won't get any respect back.

Alright, if you’re going to be the devil’s advocate let me do the exact same.

You are giving a prime example of exactly why this post was made, Benji.

This is where being in FK is a privilege not a right comes in. Get that attitude the fuck out of here because you are acting a whole lot like the people mentioned in this post. Those who need to take a good hard look at themselves and wonder why they are here, and why they make it a point to make life for staff all the more difficult.

Every single chance you get, for as long as I can remember, you have been kicking up dirt on the CMs decisions. Even when you were staff yourself you've been doing this. They can’t even write a fucking post just to ask people to remember that they too have lives and feelings without getting attacked and being lectured on respect. You’re behaving like Lenny when he realized being a cunt really didn’t work out that well for him. Only to bitch and moan but taking no effort to do as they preach.

Respectfully, sit down and shut up.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Sinderi

I made my comment because as much as I agree that staff should get respect, I have witnessed and heard of quite a few occasions where staff have over stepped their mark and abused their powers...

Whilst it's still being a dick, there have also been a number of occasions where people have spoken out to staff when the reason has been that staff have disrespected them to provoke the response.

Not everyone is innocent, certainly not all staff.

I totally agree that staff have volunteered to be staff in FK and have lives outside of the community, but it's also their responsibility to live up to performing their role here and to not abuse it, but also realise if they are unable to perform it for any reason and to either step down or take action to allow them to then properly perform the role.

As an ex staff member myself I am aware of how a number of things at least used to work and happen 'behind the scenes', so can understand both the give staff respect, but also that staff should also do enough to deserve that respect.

When I make my 'stepping up post', then you can compare me to Lenny.

I have said this in the past and will say it throughout the present and into the future. 

"Respect is a two way road. I extend it to those deserving by action, not those by title."

I will always extend a basic courtesy to people. I avoid being outright hostile to any one specific person, no matter how great my disdain for them on a professional or personal level. These days, I like to believe that people know me and how I tick. I am direct and I will not sweet talk if I think things need to be said aloud, but I am not an outright insulting person. I have in the past applied for Staff Roles and have never made much pretense around myself being an unpopular pick because of my direct, blunt attitude.

Now, I don't fully agree with either Sinderi, nor with Winters here. First of all: @Sinderi , telling someone "To get their attitude the fuck out of here" is not helping. Matter of fact you are throwing rocks in a glass house, behaving not much better then the thing you call him out for by pretty much just provoking hostilities. Second: @Winters, if you continue disrespect, the circle never changes. Because if you see no respect and give none back, why would they extend it back to you? You would just end up in a never ending loop of it all,.

Long story short. I don't think that Staff deserve respect for the sake of being Staff. I would -hate- if people only respected me because of some arbitrary title I have been given. But at the same time, a modicum of respect and tolerance has to be maintained. Not because they are Staff, but simply because they are people. Other human beings. They deserve the same respect you would give another person on the street. And unless you are an uncivilized thug you wouldn't go around attacking them verbally or insulting them. 

I will fully admit that I can be a problematic person to deal with, but I rarely if ever feel as though I am being disrespectful. I will challenge peoples arguments and I will engage in a back and forth, but I will not burst out in insults or derogatory ways, usually apologizing if I resort to what I feel to be harsh language at times to either vent some steam or express to a more accurate degree how it affects me and what I think. Sometimes a "I think this is, and sorry for my choice of words here, a load of bullshit" is kinda necessary, though it is also always followed with arguments by me, as to -why- I think that way. Of course I will be distant and avoid those I do not like, but I think that is only natural. There is plenty of people that can not stand my attitude and the way I do things and that is perfectly fine. But at the same time, I don't go out of my way to stir hostility against people. The best example for this was my ban over the moving of a bunker. When asked I responded with "Read the thing I wrote" and made no further comment than that. I made all my statements in public, being honest and direct, without throwing mud or causing noise. This to my eyes at least is an acceptable way of doing things.

Staff will face negativity. And people will dislike staff for things that they do. I am sorry to say, but that will -never- change. At their heart, humans are monkeys slinging shit at each other and I think that some staff members we had in the past were not ready to face that, either because they do not have the time or just not the right personality to deal with it. At the end of the day, you will always be the first line of defense. You are the ones making decisions. You are the ones to be held accountable in the eyes of the community. So the - for lack of a better term - ill tempered assholes will run into you head first. And if they smell the slightest bit of weakness? They will keep tearing at it and keep digging into it, regardless whether or not they should.

Should it be that way? No. But I don't think it will ever entirely stop either.

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tl;dr - You do not need to respect someone to treat them normally.

You don't have to love someone to not be a dick to them.

And sometimes people are cunts. And ignoring them is hard, but it has to be done.

I am not saying that it doesn't suck to deal with that. And that it won't eat away at you. It will. God it will. But you are in a den of lions, you willingly and knowingly entered. If you are not outwitting them and outlasting them, they will tear you to pieces.